Keeping it Positive

Two scenarios.

Parent A: “You are doing so well in piano, honey. You are learning so many songs. I love to hear you play. You get better every day. Grandma and Grandpa can’t wait to hear you play when they come to visit. That piece sounded so hard but you made it look easy! I can’t wait for you to show your teacher what you’ve worked on this week!”

Parent B: “Ugh, it’s lesson day again. I don’t really want to drive you over there but I guess we have to. Do you really have to practice right now? I’m trying to watch a show here. Your violin sounds so squeaky! Can you stop the screeching? Why do you have to play that song over and over? Play something else!”

Which child is going to stick with it? Enjoy practicing? Want to play for others?

As parents, we want to have our children learn to have perseverance, how to work hard, and have a positive outlook on life, among many other things. They learn these things from us. “More is caught than taught,” teaches Rachel Cruze. The more positive we are about things, the more positive they will be too. The more we are positive towards practicing, the more they will embrace it as part of their routine. If we show enthusiasm about attending lessons, they will learn not to be too apprehensive about them. The more we are excited about their progress, the more they will appreciate it as well.

What are some ways you can show your child that you are invested in them in helping them learn to play their instrument?

- have them teach you what they know. Let them teach you a song or how to read music.

- sit with them while they practice.

- help them practice as necessary. Even if you don’t know anything about music or their instrument, you can help them read the instructions, look back in the book for answers to questions, or contact the teacher if neither of you can figure something out.

- organize a family recital. Make it a big deal. Let the child bring out their inner showman so they can experience their family’s support.

- video record their best pieces and send them to friends and family or share on social media.

Let’s talk about when it’s a little more difficult to listen and enjoy their practicing. I call it “beginner sounds.” Beginner sounds on some instruments, like the piano, are not too bad (as long as your piano is in tune!) But on some (violin, oboe, and clarinet, I’m looking at you) the “beginner sounds” can be like the proverbial nails on a chalkboard. Those squeaks and awkward noises on some instruments are very normal at first, but the more they practice the fewer “beginner sounds” they’ll make. For wind instruments, they will learn how to control their airflow and embouchure; for violin (especially) they will learn bow control. But they do have to practice quite a bit (in encouraging circumstances, don’t forget!) to get through this phase.

And finally, those cute little 12-second songs that they usually start with. Yes, they are short and not very interesting. Yes, they don’t sound or look very hard. Yes, that is what their teacher assigned to them and is what they are supposed to learn and master this week. Remember, keep it positive. If you treat those little ditties as if they were Mozart sonatas or a Chopin Nocturne, your child will be proud of themselves. And your positivity will rub off on them and fuel their desire to want to learn more.

“For me, life is about being positive and hopeful, choosing to be joyful, choosing to be encouraging, choosing to be empowering.” Billy Porter, Broadway performer and writer.

Image by Mircea Ploscar from Pixabay

Don't Be a Robber

As a member of a Facebook group for piano teachers, I often read interesting stories from fellow teachers around the world. There is one I can’t forget. The teacher telling the story had a new family sign up for piano lessons, who had previously studied with someone else. The new teacher asked to see what books they had been using, and was shocked at what was produced: entire lesson books that had been photocopied - by the previous teacher. That teacher had also charged the families full price for these “books.” The family had no idea that this was not normal. They had been paying full price for an illegal copy of a lesson book.

Think of all the money that the previous teacher had made by illegally copying a copyrighted work. Think of all the money that they stole from the writers of that lesson book by not having their student buy a real copy. Think of all the money that the family spent on cheap-looking photocopies when they could have had a brand-new book for the same price. Yuck.

Here’s how music copyrights work. “If a work was published in the United States before 1923, it’s mostly likely in the public domain and can be copied freely. If it was published in the United States between 1923 and 1978, the work enjoys copyright protection for 95 years from the date of publication. For works published after 1978, the copyright holds until 70 years after the composer has died.” (https://www.connollymusic.com/stringovation/ins-and-outs-of-copying-sheet-music , retrieved October 25, 2019.)

In some cases, when a piece of music is several pages long, it can be impossible to turn the page by yourself without a noticeable pause. In this case, “If you are copying only a single page for a difficult page turn, you may do so without permission.” (https://www.mtna.org/MTNA/Learn/Copyright_FAQs.aspx , retrieved October 25, 2019.)

Now about music in public domain. “The term “public domain” refers to creative materials that are not protected by intellectual property laws such as copyright, trademark, or patent laws. The public owns these works, not an individual author or artist. Anyone can use a public domain work without obtaining permission, but no one can ever own it.” (https://fairuse.stanford.edu/overview/public-domain/welcome/ , retrieved October 25, 2019.)

Here are two different sources for music in public domain:

http://www.ibiblio.org/mutopia/

https://imslp.org/wiki/Main_Page

I have used these sites to get legal copies of music in public domain for students.

The main point is, that the more we know, the less we are hurt. If you have a teacher that frequently gives you copies of music NOT in public domain (still protected by copyright,) offer to buy the book instead, or ask to borrow an extra book from them. They may be unaware of laws regarding copyrighted materials. It is unfair to rob composers of hard-earned money by copying their music, rather than having students buy from them.

Here are suggestions for teachers of what they can do instead of copying music illegally:

- Have the family buy the book, and have them learn many or all of the pieces in it.

- If teacher only wants to use a single song or piece from an entire book and the family does not want to buy the book, teacher buys the book and lends it to the family while the student learns the piece.

- If two students of different families are learning a duet, buy two copies of the book and lend them to the students.

- When purchasing music online, buy a “studio license” (if available for the music you are buying) to allow you to legally copy and distribute music to multiple students.

In the words of a composer I know, “If I had a nickel for each piece of my music that was illegally copied, I could have retired by now.” Be cool, people. Don’t steal from composers by photocopying. Learn about copyright laws and urge your private teachers to do the same. Use real copies of music books, not illegal photocopies.

“Don’t set sail using someone else’s star.” African proverb

                                                                                       Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay

Ask Away

Many parents have questions before having a child embark on the path to learning an instrument. It is good to have questions! Better to ask than to always wonder. Here are some common questions people ask about music lessons.

Q- Do we need our own instrument?

A- Yes. You can rent or buy, but your child needs one in your house so they can practice daily.

Q- Why are private lessons so expensive? I want to find the cheapest teacher I can.

A- The reason is found in the title, private lessons. You have a teacher who is spending one-on-one time with only your child, crafting the entire lesson to their needs, helping them understand everything the best that they can. A highly qualified teacher is often more expensive because of their experience. You don’t necessarily want just the cheapest quote.

Q- I want my child learning classic rock/”favorite genre” type music right away. Can we skip the beginner-sounding music?

A- Well…. not really. If they are a brand-new beginner, some “beginner-sounding” music will be necessary. There are probably teachers out there that can start a student out on whatever they want, but they likely won’t be teaching the student to read music, which is an essential skill to becoming a musician, if you think about it.

Q- I have a piano app on my phone/tablet. Can my child use that to practice for piano lessons until we see if he likes it enough to buy a real piano?

A- Good question, but NO. A huge, important part of the first lessons on piano is learning to have correct hand position while pressing down keys, that are the correct distance apart. You must have a piano or keyboard for them to practice on.

Q- Weekly lessons seem expensive/time-consuming. Can we do every other week?

A- In my experience with over 150 private students, it has been proven again and again that weekly lessons are the best way to go. When a student is allowed to go every other week, what most often happens is the student doesn’t practice much at all the first week he is “off,” and when he goes to practice that second week right before the lesson, he has basically forgotten everything the teacher discussed in his previous lesson. He makes almost no progress.

Q- How long will learning to play an instrument take? Or, When will she be done learning to play [instrument]?

A- If you really want to know, they will never be “done.” There is always another level of better playing they can achieve. There will always be another piece to learn. Now, not every student wants to or needs to go to become a concert artist, but to get to a level of proficiency and independence, it will take several years of lessons from a good teacher. (And lots of practice!)

Q- My child wants to become a music teacher and/or be a music major in college. How can they prepare for that?

A- Being a music major takes a lot of discipline. You have to like practicing… a lot: 1-2 hours daily practice at minimum at most universities. So make sure they are used to practicing now.

-Ask their teacher what they suggest. A good teacher will know how to prepare students for college auditions.

-Get your child into some music theory studies. They don’t have to know everything about music theory, but knowing basics will help them immensely!

- Have them perform as often as possible for family and friends. Performing is a huge part of being a music major.

Q- I think my child has aptitude for being a musician. Do you think they have potential?

A- Yes, any child that has a desire to learn and a has good teacher can become a musician, but only if they work hard and practice. A child that thinks they are good at music but never practices (because they think they don’t need to) will not become a musician. Just because someone says they have “talent” doesn’t mean they still won’t have to work hard.

Talent + hard work = results.

Q- How long until they will be able to play [difficult piece of music]?

A- Probably years, if they are a brand-new beginner now. Some famous pieces have been arranged into easier arrangements, so those will be reachable sooner, but the “real” versions of famous pieces will probably be several years away.

What other questions do you have about private lessons?

“Never let fear stop you from asking something you don’t understand or know. To pretend or to act as if you know is not a wise thing to do.” Catherine Pulsifer, inspirational author.

Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

Music Lessons and Baseball

So private lessons are basically the same as sports; Little League for example.

Music teacher : head coach

Parent : assistant coach

Baseball practice : practicing done at home during the week

Baseball game : Music lesson with your teacher

Your music teacher is your head coach. You listen, respect, and obey. They know what is going on, and their job is to help you learn how to be the best player you can be.

The parent is the assistant coach. They guide the team when the head coach cannot be there. Or, when mom or dad say it’s time to practice piano, the student goes and practices piano.

Practicing at home during the week is like the baseball practices you attend during the week. This is where music lessons are harder than sports. When you go to sports practice, the coach is there, guiding you and encouraging you. And you make sure you go to practice so that (1) you stay on the team, and (2) you will know what to do during the game. When you practice your instrument at home, your “head coach” (teacher) is not there, so practicing at home is a big part of the Assistant Coach’s job.

Students, your weekly lesson is The Game. This is where you bring your best and lay it out. You want to win, so you have prepared the best that you could so you can Win for your teacher.

Parents, would you sign your child up for Little League, soccer, Girls on the Run, flag football, or any other sport, and then never take them to practices?

Step into and embrace your role as “assistant coach.” Make sure your “baseball star” is prepared and ready when you take them to “The Game” each week with the “head coach.” Don’t let another week pass where you realize they didn’t practice.

That’s not how games are won; that’s not how music is learned.

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” Colin Powell, former 4-Star US Army General, and former Secretary of State.

Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay

When Your Child Arrives At a Brick Wall

The child starts lessons, and has stars in their eyes. They run home and practice every day. This new skill is fun! I can do it!

And then for some, the climb up the Mountain of Learning gets steeper, the concepts get more difficult, and the practicing doesn’t come so easily.

For others, they find the beginning material is quite easy, and they discover they can “coast” a bit, and not put in much time or effort. Then when the material gets more challenging, they are in a lazy rut and don’t know how to apply themselves to learn the new level.

When students stop wanting to practice and work, I call this the Brick Wall. There is always a way around or over it, but not all students will look for the way. Signs that your child are at the Brick Wall include:

- resisting practicing

- having dread on lesson day

- saying they want to quit

This is your moment, parents. As teachers, we can usually tell when the child is at their Brick Wall, but if they are a good actor and put on a happy face in lessons, we don’t always notice.

If your child refuses to practice at home, please tell your teacher.

If your child has lost their interest in learning the instrument, please tell your teacher.

If they want to quit entirely, please tell your teacher.

We can’t help what we don’t know, but knowing what the issue is can help us redirect our focus in the lessons.

If the student doesn’t like the pieces in the book, we change books.

If the student is tired of classical and wants to try jazz, we can try jazz.

If the student doesn’t want to practice their pieces, we find pieces that they like.

If the student needs more variety in lessons, we can bring more games and activities.

If the student wants to quit, we can ask them what they would like to do in lessons to keep going.

If the student needs less structure in lessons, we can be more flexible and spontaneous.

But sometimes, that information can only come from you, the parent. Please help us help your child get around their Brick Wall. And once they find their way around it, students generally enjoy playing and learning again. Please don’t let them quit the first time they ask! Involve the teacher in what is going on so they can be part of the solution. As a teacher, it is easy to “get in a rut,” and changing things up are good for us too.

“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”

Helen Keller

Image by Tyke Jones from Pixabay

Ten Ways to Become Your Teacher's Favorite Family

1. Get that kid to practice. Seriously, this will give you many many brownie points from your teacher.

2. Pay on time, the way they ask. If they ask for payment on the first of the month, you pay on the first of the month.

3. Let your child answer the questions the teacher asks them.

4. Understand that if you need to take a break from lessons, your teacher cannot always give you the same timeslot when you come back. Many teachers have waiting lists and will fill that spot instantly.

5. Respect the place where lessons happen. If lessons are in the teacher’s home or studio, don’t allow younger siblings to run around or make loud noise or messes. If lessons are held in your own home, make sure the designated room is clear of other children, is quiet, and free from TV distractions.

6. Respect the teacher’s makeup and missed lesson rule. If you are expected to pay for lesson time even if the student is absent, pay for their time. If they don’t offer makeup lessons, don’t ask for a makeup lesson.

7. Praise your teacher to your friends and family. Give them an online review if they have a web page or Facebook business page. When they feel that you appreciate them, they will go above and beyond for your family.

8. Respect their profession. Many people ignorantly assume that music teachers teach because it is fun and easy, that it is just for “fun money,” or that it isn’t a legitimate business or career.

9. Be on time: for lessons, for payments, for recitals, for forms to turn in.

10. Get your child to practice. Seriously.

Image by eommina from Pixabay 

About Practicing

 Let’s talk about the P word… Practicing!

Halloween is coming up, so this scary topic is right on time!


I’m joking. Practicing doesn’t have to be as scary or intimidating as it may sound.


Practicing is simply going home after your lesson and playing your instrument because you want to learn how to play your instrument. And you can’t learn to play your instrument if you never sit down and play your instrument. And the oftener you play your instrument, the easier it gets, and the easier your songs/pieces get. And then you get better and better and you play more and more fun music. And it’s all because you went home and played your instrument.


So how do you know what to play when you’re home? Open your lessons book(s) and find what pages your teacher assigned. If they write in a notebook, open that and read what they wrote. Play through all of your songs, and if you struggle in one spot, take a look and study it out. Try again. If it gets frustrating, it’s ok to put it away until tomorrow. But you make sure and try again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.


You know Michael Jordan, the super-famous basketball player? The one who won 6 NBA championships and is worth over a billion dollars? He didn’t become a great basketball player because one day he woke up and realized he could suddenly play amazingly well. He said, “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” He didn’t mess up once and give up forever. He tried again. And again. And again. And that is what you must do when practicing and learning how to play an instrument. Learn from your mistakes. Mess up. Try again.


Practically speaking, a practice session might go like this:
- open books, find assigned songs
- play through each song at least twice
- do any assigned theory

It might last a beginner 10 minutes. An intermediate player- 30 minutes. An advanced player-an hour. And it must happen most days of the week for it to count.


Parents, if you have to remind your child to brush teeth, take a shower, or put on their shoes before school, then they still need you to remind them to practice. Sit down with them and be involved. Have them teach you what they learned and give it your best shot. They will learn it so much better if you do this. Set a daily timer on your phone to help you remember to do it!


A wonderful resource to help parents get their kids to practice are these books:
101 Piano Practice Tips: How to get your Kids to the Keyboard! or the similar book,
101 Music Practice Tips: Practice Tips for ANY Instrument both by Tracy Capps Selle. Available on Amazon, these books have many clever tips for getting your child to practice.


“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.” 
Malcolm Gladwell (author and public speaker.)

Photo credit Natascia Jones