Keeping it Positive

Two scenarios.

Parent A: “You are doing so well in piano, honey. You are learning so many songs. I love to hear you play. You get better every day. Grandma and Grandpa can’t wait to hear you play when they come to visit. That piece sounded so hard but you made it look easy! I can’t wait for you to show your teacher what you’ve worked on this week!”

Parent B: “Ugh, it’s lesson day again. I don’t really want to drive you over there but I guess we have to. Do you really have to practice right now? I’m trying to watch a show here. Your violin sounds so squeaky! Can you stop the screeching? Why do you have to play that song over and over? Play something else!”

Which child is going to stick with it? Enjoy practicing? Want to play for others?

As parents, we want to have our children learn to have perseverance, how to work hard, and have a positive outlook on life, among many other things. They learn these things from us. “More is caught than taught,” teaches Rachel Cruze. The more positive we are about things, the more positive they will be too. The more we are positive towards practicing, the more they will embrace it as part of their routine. If we show enthusiasm about attending lessons, they will learn not to be too apprehensive about them. The more we are excited about their progress, the more they will appreciate it as well.

What are some ways you can show your child that you are invested in them in helping them learn to play their instrument?

- have them teach you what they know. Let them teach you a song or how to read music.

- sit with them while they practice.

- help them practice as necessary. Even if you don’t know anything about music or their instrument, you can help them read the instructions, look back in the book for answers to questions, or contact the teacher if neither of you can figure something out.

- organize a family recital. Make it a big deal. Let the child bring out their inner showman so they can experience their family’s support.

- video record their best pieces and send them to friends and family or share on social media.

Let’s talk about when it’s a little more difficult to listen and enjoy their practicing. I call it “beginner sounds.” Beginner sounds on some instruments, like the piano, are not too bad (as long as your piano is in tune!) But on some (violin, oboe, and clarinet, I’m looking at you) the “beginner sounds” can be like the proverbial nails on a chalkboard. Those squeaks and awkward noises on some instruments are very normal at first, but the more they practice the fewer “beginner sounds” they’ll make. For wind instruments, they will learn how to control their airflow and embouchure; for violin (especially) they will learn bow control. But they do have to practice quite a bit (in encouraging circumstances, don’t forget!) to get through this phase.

And finally, those cute little 12-second songs that they usually start with. Yes, they are short and not very interesting. Yes, they don’t sound or look very hard. Yes, that is what their teacher assigned to them and is what they are supposed to learn and master this week. Remember, keep it positive. If you treat those little ditties as if they were Mozart sonatas or a Chopin Nocturne, your child will be proud of themselves. And your positivity will rub off on them and fuel their desire to want to learn more.

“For me, life is about being positive and hopeful, choosing to be joyful, choosing to be encouraging, choosing to be empowering.” Billy Porter, Broadway performer and writer.

Image by Mircea Ploscar from Pixabay